Kristi, this is so POWERFUL. I can relate, completely, except I was lucky to get out after two years. I am so glad you got away when you did. Are you planning on publishing this? With a little bit of work, I KNOW you could get it published. There are journals out there looking for this kind of work by women.
Thank you Rebecca, and thank you for the encouragement to submit for publication. I hadn't been planning on it, but I've heard this from several others as well, so I think I need to, lol. I'm glad to see that it's resonating so much, and hopefully raising awareness.
I think so many of us have been through this, and are going through this. And not just with romantic partners. This is also true in abusive friendships, and maybe even harder to detect. I was friends for years, time out of mine, with a woman I'd known since high school. Over time I became more and more miserable, though I couldn't pinpoint why. I am still not sure why, but I had to quit the relationship before she dragged me under.
Thank you for articulating the complicated and confusing nature of covert abuse. I went through it with my ex-husband. I think it’s the reason we stay as long as we do. So glad you were able to leave and experience a loving relationship.
Kristi, I deeply admire you for your courage...not only for moving away from a horrible situation, but for moving on and moving forward. I also appreciate that, despite your vulnerability and confusion, you have gained clarity and strength from your experience. I'm confident that you've come to realize that the part of your story about the therapist who suggested that cutting back on work and manning up MAY have been well intentioned, but certainly was off the mark in so many ways. A cautionary reminder that not all professionals see the warning signs or have experience with covert, psychological abuse. I agree with SueLori and encourage you to reach out to women's shelters, i.e., Crossroads Safe House in Fort Collins and other women's groups to tell your powerful story. As always, sending love, gentle hugs, and best wishes as your healing journey continues.
Thank you so much Sheryl💕 And thank for pointing that out about our couples therapist. I knew that but hadn’t quite articulated it. Yes she didn’t recognize it until the very end.
And thank you for that encouragement to share my story. I am going to look into that.
Oh thank you so much for reading and commenting. I’m glad to hear you got something out of it. And thank you for becoming a paid subscriber, you’ve made my day!💕✨😊
That was amazing to read love that you understand what was happening to you and Sophia and that it could not continue. We are so proud of you and that you found a way to get both of you away before more damage was done. Having Lee in your life helped you to fight for what you new down deep what a family life should be love and respect for everyone. Thank you for doing this before Sophia suffered any more damage and giving her an understanding of the way life as a family should be.
Wow! Very well done, Kristi. I can feel the healing in your words. You have come a long way and now have a bright, loving future. I am so proud of both you and Sophia. I have nothing more to say about him. He has a bad road ahead of him but it no longer concerns any of us.
You described this clearly for something that wasn’t so clear then. I hope you will submit this to women’s shelters, counseling and law journals to help those working with abused people understand their clients.
Oh good I’m glad to hear that it is clear! It was kind of agonizing to write. I had to untangle it in my own mind first, which was actually very valuable for my own understanding and healing.
That’s a great idea! I have no idea how to go about sharing it with those groups. Any suggestions? Feel free to DM me if you do.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!💕
Kristi, this is so POWERFUL. I can relate, completely, except I was lucky to get out after two years. I am so glad you got away when you did. Are you planning on publishing this? With a little bit of work, I KNOW you could get it published. There are journals out there looking for this kind of work by women.
Thank you Rebecca, and thank you for the encouragement to submit for publication. I hadn't been planning on it, but I've heard this from several others as well, so I think I need to, lol. I'm glad to see that it's resonating so much, and hopefully raising awareness.
I think so many of us have been through this, and are going through this. And not just with romantic partners. This is also true in abusive friendships, and maybe even harder to detect. I was friends for years, time out of mine, with a woman I'd known since high school. Over time I became more and more miserable, though I couldn't pinpoint why. I am still not sure why, but I had to quit the relationship before she dragged me under.
Yes I’ve been there too💕
Thank you for articulating the complicated and confusing nature of covert abuse. I went through it with my ex-husband. I think it’s the reason we stay as long as we do. So glad you were able to leave and experience a loving relationship.
Thank you Joelle. Yes I think you’re right, and I’m thinking of writing another essay in that topic…why we stay.
I’m sorry you went through this, but happy it’s in the past for you as well💕
Kristi, I deeply admire you for your courage...not only for moving away from a horrible situation, but for moving on and moving forward. I also appreciate that, despite your vulnerability and confusion, you have gained clarity and strength from your experience. I'm confident that you've come to realize that the part of your story about the therapist who suggested that cutting back on work and manning up MAY have been well intentioned, but certainly was off the mark in so many ways. A cautionary reminder that not all professionals see the warning signs or have experience with covert, psychological abuse. I agree with SueLori and encourage you to reach out to women's shelters, i.e., Crossroads Safe House in Fort Collins and other women's groups to tell your powerful story. As always, sending love, gentle hugs, and best wishes as your healing journey continues.
Thank you so much Sheryl💕 And thank for pointing that out about our couples therapist. I knew that but hadn’t quite articulated it. Yes she didn’t recognize it until the very end.
And thank you for that encouragement to share my story. I am going to look into that.
Bravo, Kristi. Thank you for sharing these words. 🫶
Thank you for taking the time to read and for your kind words!💕
This was heartbreaking, nauseating, and gut-wrenching, as well as heartwarming, discerning, and joyful. Eye-opening, on several levels. ((((Hugs))))
Oh thank you so much for reading and commenting. I’m glad to hear you got something out of it. And thank you for becoming a paid subscriber, you’ve made my day!💕✨😊
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That was amazing to read love that you understand what was happening to you and Sophia and that it could not continue. We are so proud of you and that you found a way to get both of you away before more damage was done. Having Lee in your life helped you to fight for what you new down deep what a family life should be love and respect for everyone. Thank you for doing this before Sophia suffered any more damage and giving her an understanding of the way life as a family should be.
Yes so true, all of this. I am thankful everyday for our new life and our family and that Sophia gets to be a normal surly teenager, lol!
Wow! Very well done, Kristi. I can feel the healing in your words. You have come a long way and now have a bright, loving future. I am so proud of both you and Sophia. I have nothing more to say about him. He has a bad road ahead of him but it no longer concerns any of us.
Yes very true. And thank you so much for all of your support 💕
You described this clearly for something that wasn’t so clear then. I hope you will submit this to women’s shelters, counseling and law journals to help those working with abused people understand their clients.
Oh good I’m glad to hear that it is clear! It was kind of agonizing to write. I had to untangle it in my own mind first, which was actually very valuable for my own understanding and healing.
That’s a great idea! I have no idea how to go about sharing it with those groups. Any suggestions? Feel free to DM me if you do.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!💕
I have a friend who is just starting over who has a similar story. I'm glad you found the strength to start anew.
Thank you so much MaryAnne💕And please feel free to share it with your friend if you think it would be helpful for her!